In my daughter’s eyes….

An old photograph. The date reads July 1st 2007. Vacation time at Kerala. For me, it was the time for capturing the faces, that are likely to be seen in another 2 year…. Little did I know at the time that life does not go as per you plan.
Nor did I ever think that some of the faces may not wait another two years for me to be back…

Today, I am staring at one such face. I wish I had taken a close look at this photograph back in 2007. If I had, I would have seen the tired look on my mom’s face. I would have noticed the half circles around her eyes. The graying hair, the sinking cheeks…. but most importantly I would have noticed the happiness in my mother’s eyes, which was primarily due to proximity of her kid and grand kids…I missed it, missed all the signs….

Today, I wish she were around to see my kids grow. With a smile, she would have said, “Your kids are independent because they don’t have any other choice! With a mom like you, they don’t have a choice but to get things on their own:)”… She would have then gone to get my daughter’s favorite chips or my son’s favorite candy and would have taken good care of them. She would have taught my kids chemistry and physics thru lessons from every day life and I am sure my son would have loved to talk to her about science. She would have been so happy to have long conversations with me about every single person on earth that we know of. She would have shared some powerful messages for me to live my life without fear.

And today, I wish she were around..
I wish I could take care of her
Just the way she took care of us when needed.

She is a lucky woman. She left this world without ever giving anyone a chance to take care of her. “I don’t want to be a burden for anyone”, she used to say. And just like her wish, she was granted the wish of living a life just the way she wanted…Today, marks the 5th anniversary of her leaving us. 5 years, gone in a flash…

I wish I could be that lucky. I wish my kids would look at the faces as if there is no tomorrow. I wish every child in this world, do the same.

For mothers, they are the ones who molds you into whoever you turn out to be. They always bring love and happiness into your lives. They are the ones who lends the listening ears, when you need to be heard. They are the ones who raise you up, when you fall…

I wish I could be a good mother. I wish my kids would remember me with the same fond memories as I do of my mom… I wish, no I see, my mom smiling at me from up above ….. And she remains in my mind, in my memories and some photographs….



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