My little one is starting school today. She’s getting into a new phase in her life, miles away from home. As an adult, far away from home, away from the comfort of the supportive hands that held her tiny fingers, as she took her first steps.
She leaves behind an empty nest. The hands that she tightly held on to, are now left to hold each other’s arms.
My joy! She’s always been a joy, right from the day she was born. The calm one, independent yet makes you feel needed. Always giving pleasant surprises…
Feels like just yesterday,
The shy little one was standing steady, staring at the audience, without muttering a single word, when the kids all around her was singing out loud in a performance at school. A year later, the same shy girl, makes her mom feels guilty, because mommy didn’t being the camera, to capture that surprising moment, when the little one, sang her heart out in a Christmas celebration at school…… The proudest moment….That’s an image that I will never forget. It’s all so clear in my mind, for there was no cameras to capture it…
Growing up in the shadow of a “smart” brother, she never seemed bothered by it, when teachers, even at high school, constantly compared her to her brother, stating she’s not as smart. She smiled it off, and boy, didn’t she get the laugh of her life, when she proved them all wrong? Attagirl!
But for me,
She’s not just the calm, independent, mature girl, that I miss…. She’s my joy, she’s the one that I held on to when I missed my boy, she’s the one who challenged me to do impossible things, in her usual casual way, she’s my “finder-upper”, of all things I misplaced…. She’s the one who maintained her cool, she’s the one who gave pleasant surprises… And she’s still just a little one for me….
I know she will be fine. She will try to be safe. She’s got a sensible head on her tiny shoulders. She has found her path, all by herself, all along. So why wouldn’t she now? Yet, the mother in me worry just a tiny bit. Well, that’s what makes us mothers,right?
Eighteen years ago, when I was left to take care of child birth myself, along with a 3 year old and a caring husband, my father said the magic words. “If you feel you don’t have anyone, you have God”, he said. Those words did work like magic, giving me the confidence that I needed then, making everything easy for me.
I don’t know whether I believe in God these days, but I believe in the power of my father’s (and mother’s too )words, his presence even when he is not present.
I was saying goodbye to our friend and family, who has taken upon them, to take care of my little girl. “I am relieved that you all are here”, I said.
My friend’s, octogenarian, religious mother, immediately said, “I will pray to God to take care of everything”.
No, I don’t believe in prayers. But I believe in the power of words, my father’s words, thru my friend’s mother’s words, when I needed to hear them, the good intentions behind the words, the power, the strength that only words can provide…. I felt the presence of my late father comforting me, when I needed it.
Yup, she will be fine. I wish her happiness and safety, in this land away from home. As always, all I wish my children is to “have fun and be good”. To which they would have promptly reply, ” We ARE good”. So be it. All the best my dear!
Have fun and be good!
Even then, Celine Dion could not have said it better, what the mother in me wishes for….
“I pray you’ll be my eyes
And watch her where she goes
And help her to be wise
Help me to let go
Every mother’s prayer
Every child knows
Lead her to a place
Guide her with your grace
To a place where she’ll be safe….”
and of course,
“If you ever need a place to cry
Baby, come to me
Come to me
I’ve always known that you were born to fly
But you can come to me
If the world breaks your heart
No matter where on Earth you are
You can come to me…..”